More Counselor Confessions...
I talk about you behind your back!
BUT
ONLY
when I am building you up, singing your praises...
OR
finding resources to provide assistance for life's struggles or barriers...
OR praying for you.
It is important to understand the difference between harmful gossip and supportive problem-solving.
Gossiping is mentioned in the Bible 133 times (click link here for more.)
To say it is frowned upon would be an understatement.
As a middle school counselor, I witness the negative consequences of gossiping on a daily basis, and it is not only students who participate in it, unfortunately. Whenever I am able to remove myself from unproductive verbal bashing about God's children or redirect the conversation to more helpful subjects, I promptly do so as much as humanly possible.
I am not a saint. Admittedly there are times I allow myself to get sucked into the drama.
Often times, I am called to mediate such controversies, which hopefully conclude peacefully with mutual respect or at least civil agree-to-disagree boundary setting.
In my own personal life, (vulnerable self-disclosure coming NOW) I have been the subject of other people's gossip more times than I even realize or care to know about honestly. Because here's the deal for me today: "What you think about me is none of my business." Unless, of course, you choose to make it so by bringing your concerns directly to me; which is exactly what happened to me a few years ago during a painful growing season in my life.
Of the fifty plus years I have enjoyed the breath of life on this planet so far, more than half of them have been spent married.
Today I am grateful to be the proverbial woman at the well, forgiven, redeemed, restored, and renewed handling my new Christ-centered marriage with care.
However, there were a few years in between the two marriages when I acted out like the single young adult I never got to be--- seeking attention in ways that are unbecoming for a Christ-follower.
Pleased with my body size as a result of "divorce diet" weight loss, I succumbed to the temptation to flaunt it on social media under the guise of "yoga" being an *"ambassador" for clothing brands who reached out to me to help them sell more of their products. I was flattered and took the bait multiple times from a few brands.
The point in confessing all of this to you is that my own adult children discussed their concerns about my risky behavior choices amongst themselves. This was NOT gossip, because they intervened and rebuked me directly for my inappropriate and somewhat reckless behavior. I felt embarrassed, ashamed, and righteously convicted by Holy Spirit as a result. Furthermore, I ended up crying on the first phone call I ever had with my now husband about this conviction which revealed my heart to him.
As it turns out he found my heart much more attractive than all the yoga poses online.
Now the only *Ambassador I have any desire to be is one for Christ---
2 Corinthians 5:20.
And I welcome constructive criticism for the sake of growth as opposed to malicious gossip for the sake of tabloid fodder entertainment in a vain attempt to help them feel better about their own troubled lives. I have learned that hurt people hurt people, so I will continue to give my best effort to Love God and Love People.
I'm Listening...
if you have any stories of your own you need to confess in a safe space.
PS. I still practice yoga privately, and dance in leggings daily on social media for a different joyful purpose!
Only you and God know your true motives for doing what you do. I won’t be casting any stones believe me. Love you my brothers and sisters in Christ.