Speechless

Each year at the start of November, I find myself speechless all over again.

It's an unusual occurrence for me. Most times I am able to find words to comfort and console another as they grieve a painful loss. It's part of what I do as a professional counselor.

But this loss is a bit unique for me.

I never had the opportunity to meet Jeff.

I believe I would've loved him for several reasons. One reason is that I believe we both suffered from a similar spiritual malady.

We sought different remedies for it, but both suffered in our own tormented soul individual ways.

We also both share a deep love for all of his family members. Once again those loving relationships present differently, as the nature of our relationships are intentionally dissimilar precisely as they are meant to be to serve unique purposes.

Everything happens for a reason.

We don't always understand the reason.

There is ONE who has all power who does.

I can't do this.

He can.

I think I'll let Him.

One of my pet peeves is when people "play God." By that I mean when they begin offering all the consequences both positive and negative, God will be issuing for each person like they know. *

Truth is, I don't know. And if you're honest with yourself and others you don't know either.

I do believe Jeff and his Dad are no longer suffering. Personally, I take a great deal of comfort in that belief.

I look forward to that level of peace some day myself whenever my God calls me home.

This is not my home.

Plain and simple.

There is a C.S. Lewis quote that resonates deeply within me:

"If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world."

One hundred percent is the amount I identify with that sentiment down in the deepest parts of my soul.

I may not be able to prove The Bible or my theology to you. And that's okay. It's not my purpose here anyway.

My purpose is to LOVE GOD LOVE PEOPLE. And I vow to continue to the best of my ability to those two endeavors, in that order, until I take my last breath.

Although I never met Jeff in this lifetime, I hope to someday.

And although I haven't literally met Jesus face-to-face yet in this lifetime, I know Him intimately and He knows me completely. He holds me and comforts me even now as I write these words to you. One day when I get to run to Jesus and hug him, it will be the happiest day of my existence!

That's saying A LOT, considering I'm about to become a biological Grandma for the first time soon, God-Willing!

Confident that day will rank pretty high on my BEST DAYS EVER list as well!

PS. I mentioned consequences* earlier and I do believe in the kind I refer to as "natural consequences" for our actions: