Codependent No More
There is a commonly quoted Bible verse often shared at weddings that states "... and the two shall become one flesh" [Ephesians 5:32]. This concept is easy enough for us to comprehend in terms of the obvious physical unity that is achieved as a result of sexual intercourse.
However, many who study The Bible interpret this verse to mean becoming ONE in a lot more ways than simply the physical connection. Whether it's one in plan and purpose such as the three parts of the Trinity, or one with finances, parenting, goal-setting, career plans, home/car/other product purchasing, etc.
Therefore, if as a believer, we choose to live in a Christ-centered marriage, as my husband and I do...
How do we reconcile and enforce healthy [codependent no more] boundaries, maintaining our independence as unique individuals with our own interests and talents, while simultaneously living out this truth as ONE FLESH?
The verse prior to this one makes it clear that when we choose to marry; we then separate ourselves from our parents care, restrictions, help, finances, responsibility, etc. with the words "leave and cleave." It is implied that we become and provide all of that for each other instead of our parents upon the unification of marriage.
Not keeping secrets in a marriage is healthy in my opinion. Having now experienced both kinds of marriages in my lifetime (with and without secrets), I definitely prefer to live in an open book relationship rather than with a "don't ask don't tell" policy.
This is yet another area of my life where I am a work in progress, not perfection; and continuing to take more TRUST FALLS one day at a time.
Regarding finances, I am still struggling with this part of becoming one for reasons I won't share publicly in detail here. (Perhaps that will be a deeper discussion "for members only" at some point in the future as I am building this website and making more options available to readers.)
Being in a Biblically grounded [Matthew 7:24] marriage is something I am passionate about!
I am equally passionate about living my *CODEPENDENT NO MORE (book by Melody Beattie) life; because maintaining a #healthymindbodysoul encompasses my top priorities today as a positive role model for my kids, grandkids, students, and anyone else potentially influenced by my social media presence. If this book mentioned above * is something you are learning more about, come on over to my YouTube channel with the same name (Grateful Gwen) and check out The Language of Letting Go meditations based on this book.
If you are married, how do you determine which areas to be ONE in and which areas (if any) to maintain your independence with healthy, appropriate boundaries? If you are hoping to marry someday, how do you foresee yourself working these discussions out with your future spouse? Your comments and input are more than welcome here. Or you can email me privately if you prefer that type of communication. Your thoughts and opinions matter to me. YOU matter to me! God is my ultimate authority. But as a lifelong learner, I am usually willing to listen to other's ideas on a variety of subjects and consider other points of view.
Thank you in advance for taking the time to respond. Take Care.